Here’s what’s going to happen this Wednesday: Apple is going to announce a new product that I didn’t know I wanted. At this time – no idea why I absolutely have to have it, but I know I will. Steve Jobs is going to get up there and I’m going to start salivating because I know that he’s going to whip something out that’s going to turn me on. Yeah, that’s right, I get turned on by a man with a ten inch tablet.
Yes, it’s going to be way too expensive. Of course it is – that’s how Apple does it. They don’t give a shit about making a product that everybody can afford. They care about one thing… and it’s spelled, ka ching. I know it, and I don’t care. I guarantee that I’m going to be looking for any excuse to save up and buy this thing. Just give me a couple hints about how it might make my life better, and I’ll fill in the details and convince myself that it’s worth it.
And the show is going to be a clinic of how to announce a product. Nothing like these pathetic keynotes and announcements that have been happening lately. Did you see the Nexus One announcement? I mean, come on?! I’m not that hard to turn on, but they’re up there talking about cool features, and it’s doing nothing for me. It’s like they’ve got medical diagrams of a reproductive system. That’s not sexy! Apple knows how to tease me and please me. They’ve been holding up a veil for months, and the anticipation of seeing what’s behind it on Wednesday… that has me very aroused. I just went from six to midnight.
